Wednesday, 13 May 2015

My secret

One of the things you have to learn as you get older (as well as how to do your own laundry, the difference between buildings insurance and contents insurance, and to cook for yourself) is how to spend time alone, just you and your thoughts. I know this is something some people struggle with.

I am not one of these people.

You see, I'm an introvert. I find it draining to be around people, especially large groups of people I don't know too well. Don't get me wrong, I don't suffer from social anxiety or anything; I can converse with these people but it takes every ounce of energy I have and when I get home, I'm done! I need some time alone to recharge.

Hubby is the opposite. He feeds off the company of others and will literally talk to anyone about anything, although it's usually sports, in one form or another.

You might be thinking that this mix is a recipe for disaster, for an unsuccessful marriage with many clashes, but you'd be wrong (well, so far)!

Early on in our life living together, we had to learn about these key differences; Hubby would try to encourage me out of the house, to spend time with friends, on nights out or afternoons shopping. He would assume that because he enjoyed time out of the house, surrounded by people, that I loved it too.

I don't!

I love small groups and particularly one-on-one time with the people I love but I'm not so keen on loads of people.

As hubby initially struggled to understand my desire to stay home, I also struggled to understand his apparent desire to leave the house at any given opportunity. However I now see that it wasn't that he didn't want to spend time at home, alone with me, it was that he needed time with others too; to feed his soul as much as time alone feeds mine.

Seven years and seven months living together (four years and eight months of that as husband and wife) and we get it; we understand that we don't necessarily need the same things in life, but that we love each other just the same.


  1. I love, LOVE, love this post!!! I'm wouldn't consider myself an introvert but I do suffer from social anxiety. It''s something that has gotten worse as I've gotten older and while for the most part I can work through it, it has kept me from doing lots of things in the past. I don't know what made you decide to post about this, but I'm really glad that you did. Love ya!

    1. I have no clue why I decided to blog about this either! I wrote this post on my phone in bed on Tuesday night and just decided to hit publish and see what happened! I'm glad you loved it; I hope it helped, love ya too xx

  2. Oh I am the total opposite. And let me tell you, it can be really draining! I feel like I'm wasting time if I'm by myself and always feel the need to be around lots of people. I am trying to learn how to just spend time by myself and relax without feeling the need to always be rushing around to meet people. Now I have two children it's even harder to get out, especially in the evenings, so I'm having to learn fast! xx

    1. I think the older we get the more we have to learn to fight our natural instincts; you need to learn to relax whilst I need to learn to be sociable :) x